CANNES--Still beaming from their recent win, the creative team of Draft FCB reportedly entered a local Cannes pawn shop and traded in their Gold Lion in an attempt to offset their client’s $350 million quarterly loss. Sources confirmed that the agency’s Creative Director, Bruce Lionel, haggled with the shopkeeper for almost 15 minutes before settling on an appraisal of $200, approximately 0.003% of the campaign’s budget.
“This dispels the long-held myth that agency awards and client profits are at odds with each other”, said Bruce Lionel, the campaign’s Creative Director. “This is great for our books and great for theirs.”
The winning spot, directed by Terrence Malick, was comprised solely of magic-hour landscape shots and a voiceover reading Marcus Aurelius quotes. It generated virtually unanimous praise at Cannes. It generated virtually zero sales anywhere else.
Some sources attribute this disparity to the campaign’s $200,000,000 media plan, which targeted a demographic of 7 individuals, all of whom were on the Cannes judging panel.
“We focused on frequency instead of reach”, noted Lionel. “It really paid off.”
The content itself, which lacked any reference to the product, the brand, or even the relevant industry, may also have played a role. Indeed, most Cannes attendees did not recognize the piece as an advertisement at all.
“Wait…that was a commercial?”, asked one visibly confused guest. “Well, it was really cool. Made me feel things.”
Lionel, wearing a rented tuxedo billed to the campaign’s job number, expounded on his commitment to the client’s bottom line: “this is a testament to the synergy between commerce and art. They say awards do nothing for brands, but does this look like nothing?”
With that statement, Lionel flung all two dollar bills into the air, in a gesture of celebration.