PLANO, TX—Still intoxicated by the notion that someone would pay for their opinion, members of a former focus group announced plans Wednesday to launch their own ad agency. Sources confirm that the group first met while reviewing a Chrysler animatic, where despite repeated caveats by the moderator that it was not a finished product, they contributed pointed comments like “the car is too red”, “I don’t like her shirt”, and “needs real people”.
“We’ve got a really great team here”, said Applebee’s Assistant Manager and prospective Chief Creative Officer Brian Hagen. “First there’s Jim, he had that great insight about the commercial needing monkeys, I mean everyone likes monkeys. And then there’s Sally, I love how she just came right out and said she “didn’t really get” the commercial. Every agency needs a straight shooter like that.”
Hagen confirmed that despite the group’s complete lack of formal education in marketing or fine arts, and professional backgrounds limited to refrigerator repair and tollbooth operation, the team would be diving headfirst into the endeavor. “We’ve been watching commercials our whole lives, so really, we have decades of experience. If anything, we’re overqualified.”
But the ambitious new CCO believes there’s still room to grow. “We’re always on the lookout for new talent. Everyday we receive highlight tapes from young, ambitious members of the world’s most prestigious focus groups,” said Hagen, adding that they may even widen their recruiting net to less established institutions like YouTube comment sections.
Hagen concluded the announcement by projecting that the agency would have “more than enough capital”, thanks to the pooled sum of their respective $115 focus group paychecks. “If we ever need more, I’m sure there will be plenty of investors who want to be part of something special.”